syafiqah, don't be ashamed. Each of us have different journey. What I would encourage you, as a fellow jobseekers, I would totally recommend for you to spend time improving yourself in term of hard skills such as learning on how to use adobe illustrator, or venture out into photography, or learn about SEO. All those skills are required nowadays, and it can helps you to find a job. I hope my advice helps you a little bit, wish you all the best.